Linky with my Sassy Friend!!!

My friend Stephanie has started a ” linky” process by which we can vent our frustrations on her website. Check her out at howtosurvivelifeinthesuburbs.com. I love it because really, it is about venting our  frustration over manners and etiquette or lack of……. (but don’t tell her…..) So I chose to vent today about a pet peeve of mine which is chewing styles of various family members.

It started when I was a child, I could barely sit at the dinner table without finding my dads chewing absolutely making my stomach churn. He wasn’t a “chew with your mouth open” kind of guy, but it was the way his mouth moved and the clicking sound of his jaw that drove me crazy. This problem progressed into adulthood and now, much to my chagrin, I have passed on this terrible trait to my kids.

When I am at the table with a chomping chewer, this is what goes through my head.

Dear Family Member that has driven me into therapy:

Could you please stop smacking your lips and making that aweful noise, or have the decency to eat away from the table so those who know how to dine can continue their meal in quiet? Better yet Mr., could you please not talk to me with food in your mouth? I know that the salad has a variety of veggies in it, but I don’t need to see the composting going on in your oral cavity, let alone, watch it fall onto your chest or worse, my table! And while we are at it, could you not lick your fingers after eating your hamburger? I get the chicken wings/rib licking but a hamburger? Seriously, it is only ketchup and I’ll get you a spoon, better yet, your own bottle to be eaten in the basement far away from my table. Try and take smaller bites, that way your dinner might last more than 2 minutes. After all, it took me over an hour to prepare it. Love you, me!!!